Journal Entry No. 5

Courage

Slice of Loneliness

By: Lovely Tabuena

Millions of people in the world, in every corner you can see but still feels lonely. This word, this feeling, seems like all of us ends up with this from being with your family, meeting new people, having friends but as grow older, they are like bubbles that pop out, like a fog that fades away, a song that will be gone, a story that is forgotten. Loneliness is the time where you are alone thinking about something but why am I feeling lonely with my family? The loneliness that I feel in this society. At a very young age, my eyes were opened in this misery world, the problems in the world, experiencing the depressions of an adult instead of playing outside, laughing with my friends, living as a carefree kid. I would rather solve math problems and write a hundred page of essay that to feel this loneliness. I envy the kids


Loneliness became my friend, alongside with depression. We’re trios, we communicate, they always visit me that for once I feel like they’re the ones who really love me and not the people around, talking to me with their problems, visiting me in needs of help, calling me because they have no one to talk to. They all rely on me, but what about me? Who can I rely on when everybody leans on me? They say I can talk to them and they would understand, but loneliness and depression took something from me, the courage. I don’t have the courage to express myself, the courage to open my heart, to say it out loud that I’m hurt, mom, I’m depressed, dad, I’m lonely, friends I need you. My courage has been taken away for so long that until now I’m searching for it, hoping someday before I die, I can take all of this thorns in my heart, that someday I can live as person, that loneliness and depression will leave me and the around me will step closer not because they need, not because they want something, but because they love me.